right here in my sister's tuition center, done all the preparation work for tmr classes. left some test papers un mark. din had enought sleep.
few days ago, i wish i would pass my project, i wish to have a gpa above 2, i wish sucess in my interviews. today, i got everything fufilled. i should be happy.in fact, all these have been en encouragement to move on when i felt so tired in life at times.
i was pretty nervous in the mrn as the person who called sounds really unfriendly.i tout of him and i msg him.After adecco promise a me a position of a personnel consultant, i msg him again. i told mitch, i miss him and he did replie me. nth seems to happen before, as good as b4. but it isnt the fact.
the fact of club ruin my confident level in this r\s.u said i shld allow u to club,but not often, once awhile. i ponder over it and i do agree. yes, once awhile to chill out was perfectly fine. last week u jus went, and this week once more. is tat called once awhile? and to repeat yst entry, i was left with a freaking sat night and i have waited so impatiently for sat to arrive. finally,when its here, the sentence" i m gg to club" simply dashes everything.
perhaps u will nv imagine how i felt. to u, it might be a small thing, you might not even what to think abt how i felt and its selfish to do so. think abt it, if u dun club, will your friends be greatly affected? and if u club, how much will i get affected? maybe thats not the pt afterall. you just choose it over me.
i having headaches. shed, disappointed.
guys use to blame their gf."when guys go ns, gals leave,because they only have weekends spent". how true could that be? less than 50%.
from mitch
"cos e guys themselves dont noe how to love and don noe how to prioritise".
i linked this sentence up with my touts.
didnt he knew i have to work on weekends? meaning that i left with a sat night. and can u imagine how disappointed i am when he says he is gg to club after meeting me. its makes me feel this way : because u didnt wan me to make a fuss over not spending enough time with me, so u squeeze out a few hrs jus to hoax me ( i used the word hoax to make it sounds better) and off u go to ur unforgettable nights out with ur friends - CLUBS.
yes, i trust u, jus like how u trust me ( thats what he claimed) but the pt is i left only with a pathetic saturday nite, u get it?. the thing now is i need to work on weekends,and u wana club on weekends. what shall be left for me, for the r\s that we seems to have a hard time maintaing it, at least a near to perfect state b4 u enter NS.
it did improve ALOT after we patch things up, but i have to say, things are drifting again and u noe, this feelngs sux. i noe u had a hard time inside. i had a hard time working too. from tuesday to sunday. i left a monday to look out for jobs and stuff. i m no much better. the only console is i could go home.
i tout i would perservere jus like u did and we wld have a wonderful weekends. the whole saturday night, till we wore out. tt was what i m looking forward to,do u?(no. u plan to club)
i type a message, and i delete. a few times i have been doing this. i wan to tell u how i feel. but i realised i couldnt. i dunno what to say or what to do to make u realise this. sounds hillarious when i mk a fuss over u gg club? than think abt what i have mention. its not jus trust.
after the unhappiness u n me have caused, you said "ok, i am not gg to club, i will spent time with u" so whats ur reason for doing so?because i whine too much, because you dun wan me to irritate u?". i dun wan. the meaning of gg out with me changed. its not because u want to, but u seems to be force to. and are u gg to tell me"no, i really want to"? if u really want to ,why in the first place u choose to club?.
maybe i mean nth to u afterall. you once said, NS make u realised u love me even more. i bet its too early to say that. for now, i feel that NS make u realised without me, you are better off with ur clubbing moments.
broken.
i m here to infrom you guys i will not be updating my blog frequently.but i guess it would be a long post each time i post an entry.the reason was i had a lot of unpacked feelings which i find blog isnt a way for me sort them out.maybe, somethings couldnt be said.alright, i guess i havent mention any resolution for the yr.perhaps, i have not start planning any, but i have a short term resolution for the next 4 weeks; to reach sch at 830 sharp daily,get at least a 'B' for my daily grades,do better for UT and pass my fyp2.looks like its all abt studies.probably yes,for the last 4 wks in RP.The only concern was my fyp.
everything in my life is good.people just aint contented.like me.life has been fair. nth too much and nth too little.striking e balance.my eldest sis bought us tiffany n co. necklace.one for herself,one for my elder sis,n one for me.-GRIN.to me, its more than a necklace,it remind me our sister bonds,our love.
my darling,he is back in camp.but time flies for me,friday would come soon.movies!i really got so much to do, after i graduate. i wana take my car practical lessons, i wana go 'wu'studio with mitch!, i wana learn piano with val,i wana learn yogo.i need to help out at my sis's tuition centre, i have to start looking for job, i m going shanghai to visit my sis and a shopping spree.
turing 21 this yr! no clubs for me, no chalets, no parties.maybe jus a simple celebrattion with my friends and family like the usual yrs. i wana spend my birthday out of spore.the beach would be perfect, the footsteps i left will be the embarkment of my adult life.
yup, the more i tout of my plans after my graduation, the more i have moivation for the goals i had in the next 4 weeks.=)take care all-
will be back, hopefully with good news or least good progression of my fyp.val, we will graduate tgt =)
FUCK YOU!
PUBS!
&
CLUBS!
its has been a few days.went to work on last friday at bugis, was dam busy.but joan and i really create some fun.lolx and went to derrick's birthday at jurong on saturday,have a nice catch up with my year 1 classmates. i miss the swing =). n a beautiful christmas with darling, mitch n xiong.monday today,still good,coz we spent a great afternn roaming ard northpt.tmr should be fine, coz i will be running some errands with my sis. wed n thur i shld speed up for my project n friday shld be great again.
i got a tiny, medium n huge spongebob! i rmb the tiny one was part of my bd pressie, the medium one was bought for me when i was down because of darling and the huge one was christmas pressie + a companion when eric is not with me, all bought by mittx.
thanks! now, i got all my collection completed.
for now, i noe what i want
yes!
i made this for darling. =)i still love him as much i always use to be.but its getting alil bit different for me now.i dunno but i aint very happy.i hate the way i m feeling right now.i hate it when i can only talk to u at night. i hate to wait. i hate to noe that when NS days get longer n longer, u will soon forget the love we share, n the promises we made.will u?
i wish i m just worrying too much.
nights.
a day pass like tat. i pratically rot at home. coz its raining heavily,coz my cramp is getting worst.
was rather disappointed because we hung up the phone within 5 mins.i went to listen to 'here in my heart' after that, when i was engross in my song, darling called again! and he heard the background of the song. =)
now i really understand why isit so hard for couples to stick thru the NS period. but there is smth u could always look forward and tats weekends n the sms,calls each day.
i do agree with mitch that NS might be the sweetest period of a r\s;in some ways.cause u will really treasure the time spent and conflicts eventually lessen.but at pt of time, when u fall sick, when something bad happen and u need his shoulder to lean on, he wun be ard.
becasue you love me,here in my heart,i said "i will be right here waiting for u,stick with u."